It’s 11:55 PM
Not an ideal time to be pensive
In a jiffy my phone will beep with calls
I should be happy perhaps
Or should I?

Once there lived a boy
He was five
He had no future, no past
He lived in the moment
Cricket and good food were his greatest allies
And visiting his grandma’s village in the vacations
His warmest respite

Days go by
And he dug deep inside
He was geeky and gawky
As he entered the dreaded teenage phase
Scared of being judged by others
He mostly kept to himself

Days go by
And he started thinking about the future
He barely had friends 
Neither did he have any teenage love
Crushes were aplenty
But whether he had the guts to speak to them 
Would always remain a mystery

Days go by
and he followed the rat race
Joining an Engineering College
Was the next obvious chase
He soon found a girl 
Fascinating, sweet, petite and demure
Silly guy, he thought he had found his lady luck

Days go by
He decided to write a poem on her birthday
With Ants in his pants, he showed it to her
‘You should write more, you have that talent’, said she
He writes and writes, and writes again
He thought that’s enough to impress her

Days go by
He got clingy
And the inevitable happened
He tried his best to hold on to her
The art of letting go was always painful
And she went, left  without saying a goodbye
Distraught, dejected, shattered
He let all the pain overflow in his writings

Days go by
and the placement season commenced
He reminisced about the girl
He laughed at his immaturity
Academics had always been his forte
And he bagged a ‘dream job’, with such brevity

Days go by
And he works, works and works
Sleep, eat, work, repeat is now his mantra
The spark of writing is now aloof
The writer in him, long dead

Days go by
and it’s 11:59 PM now
And he thinks again
For one last time this year

What is my passion?
When will I be happy?
How will I live the life I always dreamt to be?
How will I have control over my mind?
How will I have control over my cravings?

I still do not have answers to these questions
But guess what, its 12:00 AM now
My phone beeps
And the sound of ‘Happy Birthday’ resonates in my ears

I see some materialistic gifts around me
If only I had it my way
Seeking right answers to my questions
Seeking them before it is too late
Seeking them before I grow old
Would be the only Birthday gift I had ever want

 

 

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