Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself felt like that”. The bond of friendship is much more stronger than anything I have seen or felt. I still remember the names and traits of all those who were and have been my friends.
Lot of times friendship is temporary – how many of us promised our friends during high school or college farewell, that we’d always stay in touch and we won’t forget each other etc and with how many people are we actually in touch with? I’m scared to answer that.
The truth is friendship requires commitment – much more than any other relationship. It has to be maintained. That’s a slight flaw.
In life, some friends cross our pathway for a reason. Ofcourse we have had friends and made friends because we wanted to get something done. Sometimes, in dire situations, to move forward you need help. This is a selfish way of looking at friendship, but it is practical, only that it’s hard to digest. Some friends come for ‘seasons’. We have had friends for a significant time – probably 6 months, one year or more than that, and then one fine day they disappear. That’s it. No questions asked.
And some friends are eternal- those who we call true friends. It’s difficult to predict which among those three categories does our new friend belong to. But it has to be among that list. It’s also near impossible to try and mould true friendship. It just happens. That level of mutual understanding, which is akin to two peas in a pod, is unfathomable and irrational to the skeptic, and matures and blossoms in time like roses in a garden.
Recently a friend of mine met one of her “once upon a time” friend after almost 5 years. She might have thought that it would be strange meeting that friend , but she messaged me afterwards saying that it was just the same feeling old feeling. Yes, the feeling doesn’t really go away when the amalgam called friendship also has a component called understanding and unconditional support.
Meeting new people, making new friends, staying in touch with old friends, giving them your time – this is all part and parcel of life. Friendship helps you explore all the aspects that you couldn’t imagine, it helps you traverse roads which you thought were too narrow to have ventured out alone.
From my experiences so far in life, I have realized that to make good friendships one needs to accept the other person as they are. I believe I have not been able to convert the ‘seasons’ I had with some of my friends because of this very flaw. They might have had some weakness that pissed me off, and probably vice versa. One of the universal laws of nature is that the evil always overshadows the good, and so we lost touch. The ego angle also sometimes comes into picture while making a dent in seasonal friendships. But I have no regrets. Friendships have taught me a lot of lessons that no management book or any other form of Gyaan could have.
“Good Friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are there – somewhere in the dark – perennial, rock solid, unimpeachable.”
Anubhav Shrivastava and Sarthak Pandey